How did you do with your adventure last week! Mine didn’t turn out anything the way I planned. I originally thought I wanted to ask someone to hangout on a date-type thingy. Instead, I found two tomatoes and an epiphany. You read that right. But first, my adventure this week: Sleep! Eight hours a night, every night.
I struggle with quieting my mind enough to let rest happen what I want it to. Normally, I write and write till I’m too tired to write anymore, then collapse into my pillows and sleep till my alarm clock goes off the next morning. I want to begin to change that pattern. I want to replace it with the creation of a loving and safe space under my comforter where I can easily get all the sleep I need each night and face the next day energized and refreshed. Last week’s adventure taught me that I am at my best when I nourish myself with not just good company and bright thoughts, but also fresh food and deep sleep!
I’m thinking something along the lines of cleaning my room each night, guided mediations and herbal tea. We’ll see though.
So, the story of last week’s adventures, involving tomatoes and epiphanies!
On Sunday, after the Chris Guillebeau book signing in Toronto, I got a sudden and overwhelming urge for raw tomatoes during the car ride home. It was absurd, especially since I don’t actually like raw tomatoes. But sometimes, the things we need to do in order to succeed come to us in strange and difficult-to-ignore impulses from the universe, and I knew that if I did indeed randomly find tomatoes that week, it would be a sign that my heart was in the right place and that the things my head dreams about are the same things my heart needs.
I did indeed find my raw tomatoes, but not in anyplace I looked for them. My roommates when on a collective massive grocery shopping trip. Did they buy tomatoes? Nope. I thought I saw one, but it was just a fat, round apple. On Wednesday night, I went to the grocery store to see if tomatoes were on sale. As it turned out, I got there 5 minutes before closing time, and in my frantic search for my precious tomatoes, I didn’t find any. I resigned myself to a sense of clam and decided that the tomatoes would arrive when they were ready. And boy did they ever!
I took a bus on Friday to go see my mother. It dropped me off at a terminal that’s just a 10 minute walk to her house, but Friday greeted us with minus 30 degree Celsius weather. My mom offered to take time off work to come get me, but something told me to decline and tough out the walk. With two, 20Lb bags…
And did I mention the dangerously cold weather?
Like I said, the universe works in strange and mysterious ways. I walked.
In order to brace myself against the wind, I retreated into a state of clam, and decided to focus on keeping warm instead of how painful the wind chill was. I adjusted my hood to better stave off the wind and as I did so, something red caught my eye. It was two red things actually. In the front lawn of the house 6 doors down from my mother, they had built an enormous snowman. Guess what they used for the eyes. Did you guess two fresh tomatoes? Because if you did, you would have correctly guessed why I had such a wonderful weekend!
So my lesson from last week was clear, simple and delicious, like a ripe tomatoe: focus on making sure you have what you need, and everything else will come to you as it’s ready to. I don’t think the lesson is to stop looking for whatever it is you want. Has anyone ever told you that you would find love as soon as you stopped looking for it? I think they’re on the right track, but not quite accurate in their assessment. You’ll find love not when you stop deliberately looking, but begin deliberately trusting that you’ll find it.
Every time I went searching for my tomatoe, it was because I didn’t really believe or trust that I’d be awake enough to find it, or the universe was clever enough to make sure I would receive it. Neither of those things are true- you are aware enough for your desires, and the universe is plenty aware of where you are and what you need. It’s when you let go of the idea that you might not find it, that you find it. That’s because the space that was formerly cluttered by self doubt and worry is now free to be filled with love and trust and total faith that you’re just freakin awesome, and a tidal wave of wonderful is rushing towards you to bring smiles you face. Nice.