Last week’s project of dressing up on my days off work was wonderful.
I loved wearing nail polish. Mostly, I just enjoyed the ritual of taking time away from all the things I felt I should be doing and instead centering myself in the act of doing something I love. I loved that getting dressed up and staying dressed up involved many moments of pausing and reflecting on How do I want to look to the world? For me, it’s a joy to finally be so secure in where I am in the moment that I can leave it and know it will be fine if I take some alone time, if only for a quick lip-gloss reapplication.
Next week, I want to carry over the spark ignited by taking time to do my hair as though I had somewhere important to go that day. (Even if it was only the library.) I want to spend more time getting excited about facing my life and preparing for it as though it was a wonderful thing, where there might be pictures and the chance of bumping into someone attractive.
You know that feeling of waking up on your birthday as a child? I want to wake up feeling like every day’s my 16th birthday. (My 16th birthday was awesome. It involved multiple surprise parties planned by two different groups of friends and family, and other things that make me feel loved and celebrated.)
But right now the thought of exerting so much into daily preparation is daunting. I also don’t want to make a habit of holding expectations about what my day has to be like, now that I’ve put all this time into applying mascara. I want enjoying my life to be a joyful experience, not a task that needs to be completed.
I want to be on a constant scavenger hunt for little things to celebrate.
Each day, I will seek at least three things that give me pause and make me feel happy to be exactly where I am in that moment.
When I find them, I will:
- smile and
- clap and
- take at least three deep, slow breaths, to revel in the fact/idea/things/moment/person.
I will make space in the 24 hours I get each day to allow myself to feel excited. I will seek microcosms of joy. Getting back to a place where I feel totally invigorated feels like climbing a far off mountain, so I am choosing to instead focus on the steps immediately before me. Those, I feel capable of. I know that if I look up every once in a while and make sure I’m still moving in the right direction, it’s ok to just look at the ground for a little while, and make sure I’m not tripping over anything immediate. If only just for now, it’s ok. It’s ok.
Care to join me on the scavenger hunt?