Entries by AY Daring

How Often Do People Disagree With You?

Vrouwelijke bokskampioen / Female boxing champion

Nationaal Archief

I went to high school with this one guy, Louis (pronounced as the French Lou-ee, not the American Lou-is) and we loved to hate each other. We had every class together in our final year except for one. That in itself should tell you just how much we were actually alike, loathe as we were to admit it at the time. Where my bleeding heart sensibilities would often get the better of me, he was pragmatic in a Machiavellian way. Our views on the role of government clashed like the Medicis and the Holy Roman Empire- who was whom in our case would often change depending on the topic at hand. He knew a lot about the history of wars in the Western world. I knew a lot about the environmental costs of the wealth of nations. He thought criminals should be punished. I thought they needed to be rehabilitated. We were both Canadians who spent much of our respective youths in the U.S., so our world views are similarly skewed. We challenged each other intellectually and emotionally,  and always had grist to throw into one another’s mills, much to the chagrin of our teachers. In the following, present to you the case that everyone who aims to be a better person than they are today should always have a Louis in their life.

Each day, in butting heads, we taught each other to refine our views and the logic we used to support them. We were never disrespectful. We were rarely ever rude. We often shocked each other. But we were never out to get one another. I estimate that a year spent putting my ideas on trial with Louis is both judge and juror rose my IQ by a full standard deviation.

He often pushed me into introspection and critical thinking about my world, usually by asking, “Are you kidding me?!”. His incredulous opposition to ideas that I took to be self-evident truths (for example, that the oil sands in Alberta should be declared both morally bereft and illegal) helped me realize that I would need more than mere enthusiasm to make a difference in the world. I learned when to stick to my guns, and when to consider the fallibility of my senses. I don’t know if I was able to do the same for him, but in my senior yearbook, he wrote “You’ve been one of the best debating partners I’ve ever had”. Likewise, Louis.

Looking back on it all, even though I couldn’t stand him at the time, I’m really grateful I had a Louis in my life before heading off to university. I’ve always found challenges much more surmountable when I have a successful model in someone with the same amount of resources as myself. Our verbal jousts, moderated by the wisdom of our teachers, taught me that a young idea can still be legitimate if it successfully withstands proper scrutiny.

By graduation day, I’d deeply internalized  that although sharing your passion is imperative, it takes more than that to bring people into your fold.

My passions were founded in my personal experiences, which were memories that only I had access to. Part of the work of a social justice advocate is convincing people to care, and people don’t care about things that their experiences can’t justify. When exposing someone to a new idea, you have to create new experiences for them that weave into their established personal narratives. In hooking the new idea into the established ones, your case is strongest if it has multiple footholds into your psyche of your audience. Emotion alone limits you to just one aspect of the way robust individuals operate in the world. If you want to win a person over, you’ve got to aim for their whole being- their mind, body, soul and heart. Leave one out, and you’ve weakened your case.

I still honour my feelings and my heart, but they are now held in balance with a logical mind. Unquestioned faith in an idea isn’t commitment, it’s dogma, even if you mean well. Perhaps especially if you mean well.

I know what I believe, but my mind is fallible. I believe that the only path to true intelligence is to constantly examine the weaknesses of my mind, and only accept something to be true if it can withstand rigorous analysis from all sides. And even then, I continue to be skeptical because even rigorous analysis is not immune from human error.

Of course, not all things require critical evaluation in order to be accepted. I just love ABBA, even though they haven’t been cool in a very long time. There is no need to analyse my love of 80′s Swedish pop because there’s not much to it. Nihilism didn’t catch on for a very good reason- some things are just plain fun, and there’s not much to be gained from picking to death the way you feel when the sun is on your face, the wind is cool against your skin, and it feels good to be alive.

Further, upon close examination, it sometimes turns out that the things we believe about the world do in fact stand up to scrutiny- the importance and power of access to secondary school education for young women, does in fact hold up in both facts and feelings. But I think the things that we accept without critical evaluation should be far and few in-between, especially when we’re considering the ideas that lead to action within our communities. Our values, the way our government should be run, where our energy comes from and what our cities ought to look like have complex answers. How do you know that you’re in the right place if you haven’t really looked at the landscape? The middle of the desert looks the same in Dubai as it does in Egypt, but if your ultimate goal is to see the Pyramid of Giza, standing in the middle of any old sea of sand just ain’t gonna cut it.

Love,

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Developing a Bias Towards Action

The heroic crew

Tyne & Wear Archives & Museums

I adore Chris Guillebeau’s message of deliberately questioning whether or not the status quo actually works for you. His delivery is at times rather facile (this Goodreads review of his latest book, “The $100 Start-Up” perfectly summarizes one of his biggest shortcomings as a writer) but his overall body of work is a steady and reassuring reminder that bucking trends is a sensible career and lifestyle path for some people. I even wrote a breathless blog post 3 years ago about meeting him and buying his first book. There are a lot of exclamation marks in the piece, and I am tempted to go back and edit it, but what I wrote was exactly how I felt at the time and the points are still valid. 

Over on his blog, The Art of Non-Conformity, he recently published a post addressing something that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about, and was actually going to blog about this week. Guillebeau’s post is called Changing the Default. Instead of reinventing the wheel, I’m going to cull together the best bits of what he said:

I’ve noticed that my default behavior, whenever I’m not sure what to do next, is to consume. I read the news online or check out social media. When I’m done with one news site or one social media platform, I look at another.

I don’t think this is bad, but I don’t need to do it all the time.

I’ve now started doing something else. Whenever I come to the end of a task and wonder, “OK, what’s next?” I try to answer it with something active, not passive.

The story I tell myself is that the default behavior is to create—not to consume.

The particularly important phrase there is “I try to answer ["what's next?"] with something active, not passive”.

You know those days when you’re getting ready for bed while wondering how the day went by so quickly when you weren’t actually doing anything? I’ve been having at least 3 of those days each week for longer than I care to admit.

I recently started asking myself “What would the very best version of myself do in this moment?” Sometimes the very best I can do to act like the very best version of myself is to curl up with Netflix and a big bag of popcorn. Most of the time however, the very best version of myself is doing something creative as opposed to something passive.

I find that even when I’m unsure of what to do with my time, cleaning a room in my house or folding my laundry is enough action to build inertia towards completing my bigger projects. If you have big, beautiful, grand ambitions, and it’s important to you that you achieve them, those goals should be what shape your daily life, not the endless series of distractions that life so often tempts us with.

Guillebeau calls it “changing your default,” while I call it “developing a bias towards action,” like a sailor working to navigate rough waters to reach the shore up ahead, instead of just rolling with the waves and perhaps ending up right back into the middle of the ocean.

Leave your questions, comments, rage and compliments in the section below.

All the best,

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Currently Reading: “My Beloved World” by Sonia Sotomayor

Cover of the book. It is a picture of Justice Sotomayor smiling up at the reader, with the book title below her.

Title: My Beloved World
Author: Sonia Sotomayor
Format: Kindle ebook
Progress: Location 2365 of 5180

Goodreads Summary: With startling candor and intimacy, Sonia Sotomayor recounts her life from a Bronx housing project to the federal bench, a progress that is testament to her extraordinary determination and the power of believing in oneself. She writes of her precarious childhood and the refuge she took with her passionately spirited paternal grandmother. She describes her resolve as a young girl to become a lawyer, and how she made this dream become reality: valedictorian of her high school class, summa cum laude at Princeton, Yale Law, prosecutor in the Manhattan D.A.’s office, private practice, federal district judge before the age of forty. She writes about her deeply valued mentors, about her failed marriage, about her cherished family of friends. Through her still-astonished eyes, America’s infinite possibilities are envisioned anew in this warm and honest book, destined to become a classic of self-discovery and self-invention, alongside Barack Obama’s Dreams from My Father.

My Thoughts So Far

This year, I’m trying to read one fiction and one non-fiction book each month. This book was a gift from my father, and my non-fiction pick for May. I don’t normally enjoy autobiographies, but I can’t put this one down, as Sotomayor is a surprisingly compelling raconteur. I say “surprisingly” because law, like philosophy, usually requires fairly dry expositions, while My Beloved World reads like a coming of age story.

With a tight weft of painful memories supporting rational life lessons, “My Beloved World” manages to pass on wisdom without ever becoming patronizing. I find myself rooting for her, even though I already know how the story ends, which is the mark of a skilled writer.

My Kindle Highlights

“…experience has taught me that you cannot value dreams according to the odds of their coming true. Their real value is in stirring within us the will to aspire.” – location 76

“You can’t say: This much love is worth this much misery. They’re not opposites that cancel each other out; they’re both true at the same time.”- location 1246

“But more important was [my mother's] example that a surplus of effort could overcome a deficit of confidence.”- location 1858

“Always, my first question was, what’s the goal? And then, who must be persuaded if it is to be accomplished?”- location 2373

Vocabulary Words

  • miscegenation
  • extemporaneous
  • inexorable
You can callow along with me, my annotations, notes and highlights on my Kindle page. When I finish reading, I’ll write a book review there as well. I also try to review the books I’ve read on Goodreads, but I’m not particularly diligent about it, so no promises!

Much love,

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Being Well-Informed 101: Current Events

As children, my little brother and I were not allowed to eat upstairs- all meals and snacks had to be taken in the dining room. It was a strict rule, except on Sundays when we were allowed to have breakfast in my parent’s room, provided we watched the morning news with them. They watched CNN and MSNBC almost exclusively in the morning (my mom is a fan of news radio, and dad is a BBC kind of guy), so I spent those Sunday mornings eating in front of Meet the Press and becoming a social democrat. After my parents’ favourite shows were over, we’d discuss them as a family and they’d encourage us to look at the issues from a variety of sides and develop our own perspective on things.

I don’t know if “no food upstairs unless you’re learning about current events” was a deliberate attempt by my parents to make my brother and I more socially aware, or if they just wanted quiet mornings once a week. Either way, both things happened.

I’ve voted in every single election I’ve been eligible for, volunteer with my political party of choice, and I listen to and read the news throughout each day. Now that I live in my own place, I can eat wherever I want, but I continue to stay on top of the news. What’s changed is that I now watch more than CNN and MSNBC, great as they are. (Or in CNN’s case, were. Things have been going downhill for a while.) Even if you don’t “do” politics, politics is still doing you- sometimes in ways you can’t do anything about unless you really know what’s going on. That’s why it’s so important to follow a variety of sources.

MacKenzie McHale says it best in the pilot episode of The Newsroom“Not all stories have two sides. Some have five. Some only have one.” And the side you stand on often depends largely on where you’re getting your information from. Ain’t nobody free from bias- you just have to choose the most sensible bias to adopt.

These are the news sources that I trust to help me decide what side I want to be on.

NPR- National Public Radio

NPR logo

I’m new to the NRP world, although I’ve been hearing about them for years and am passively familiar with their editorial integrity. I listen to their 24 hours news show in the morning while getting ready for the day, and again in the evening as I’m getting ready for bed. I also really love the hourly news summary, because sometimes, a 4 minute and 30 second overview is all I can really handle when there’s too much despair in my knowledge soup. Very left slanting, but always rightfully so.

Aimed At: Concerned young people/middle-aged Americans who are more concerned with being informed than being concerned.

See Also: This American Life. I’m consistently impressed by how they’ve previously dealt with sensitive topics with both sensitivity and sensibility. There was no panicked losing of the minds by breathless reporters, nor glossing over the severity  of the issue at hand.

Monocle 

logo of Monocle magazine

Gawker once described Monocle as: “a travel-culture magazine and a repository of lifestyle sensuality and gaywad uptightness.” I agree with Gawker (though not with their use of the word “gaywad”), but being uptight doesn’t detract from Monocle’s unique, albeit rather pretentious and at times exclusionary, analysis of the world.

Monocle’s aimed at a segment of the population that believes itself to be of great influence- and it’s interesting to know how “tastemakers” view the world. Each of the yearly 10 issues focuses on a different theme that is explored in the categories of affairs, business, culture, design and edits. Previous issues have focused on “why the world needs the new Germany,” “reports on the front line of defence,” and “businesses, brands and  nations that have the charm factor“. Its thick, matte paper is a nice textural contrast to the endlessly glossy pages of every other magazine on the newsstand (they refuse to do a mobile version), but it also makes Monocle one of the most expensive periodicals I buy on a regular basis. It’s the brain child of Tyler Brulee, the same man who brought you Wallpaper* back in the 90′s, so he’s got magazine street cred if nothing else.

Aimed at: Breezy jetsetters who are concerned with what’s going on with the people down below while they’re 30,000 feet above them. On the way to Ibiza. For a “quick getaway”.

See AlsoMonocle 24- Monocle’s 24 hour radio station, aired out of the UK

The New York Times

New York Times logo

The paywall sucks, but there are ways to get around it. I read the NYT mostly so that I can say I read the NYT. There’s a certain cachet to being part of the club, but their reach is so wide they really do cover everything going on in the world- from an American perspective of course. That said, it’s the New York Times, and there’s not much else to say.

Aimed at: People who like to say they read the New York Times. Crossword puzzle lovers.

See Also: Andrew Sullivan- also has a paywall, and the writing is as good, but he specializes in long-form pieces and is an independent writer so you get to feel like you’re supporting a revolution in journalism as opposed to a sinking Grey Lady.

Scientific American

Scientific-American-logo

Call it SciAm (like the former name of Thailand) if you want to sound like you know what you’re talking about. I like SciAm because it’s written by scientists, science journalists, and regular people who know what they’re talking about. Their blog is one of my favourite places to start looking for information when I hear something that sounds like science but smells like nonsense. Its headlines are usually non-sensationalistic, though blog posts are sometimes obviously designed for page views. Overall, it’s good science news for people who don’t have an M.Sc. You’ll need at least a B.A. to understand it though, as it is aimed at a well-educated public. Albert Einstein once wrote for them.

Aimed at: People who hear the word “chemicals” and think, “compounds made up of one or more elements, i.e. pretty much everything, so why are you hippies freaking out over having chemicals in your food?”.

See Also: The Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe, my favourite podcast of all time. It’s a science/skepticism/critical thinking podcast produced by really smart scientists and activists for the public understanding of science, while having fun about it all.

Al-Jazeera

aljazeera_logo

(English news site)

Wikipedia says it better than I could: “The original Al Jazeera channel’s willingness to broadcast dissenting views, for example on call-in shows, created controversies in the Arab States of the Persian Gulf. …In the 2000s, the network was praised by the Index on Censorship for circumventing censorship and contributing to the free exchange of information in the Arab world, and by the Webby Awards, who nominated it as one of the five best news web sites, along with BBC News, National Geographic and The Smoking Gun.” Headquartered in Qatar, Al-Jazeera would be the New York Times if a) the Western world didn’t have knee jerk negative reactions to the Middle East and b) the New York Times was based outside of the United States.

What I like about Al-Jazeera is that you can go to different sites with news focused on different parts of the world, and the African news site is just as good as the American news site. Usually, discussions about Africa are either focused on privileged white folk wanting to feel better about themselves, or disgruntled folk of any race complaining about all the Nigerian princes that apparently want to give out millions. There’s a lot of bad going on in Africa, but Al-Jazeera reports it with integrity. Also, there’s a human right’s section of the digital publication, which makes my inner bleeding heart liberal squeal with the joy of awareness.

Aimed At: The dissidents hiding in plain sight, starting trans-national revolutions from their smartphones.

See Also: Nothing. I’ve found nothing else quite as good as Al-Jazeera.

Reddit

Reddit alien logo

Oh Reddit. Reddit is the seedy underbelly of the internet and the brightest, shiniest example of all the great things about the internet. I have, on many occasions, read about something on Reddit several days before traditional news media outlets pick up on the story. I have also, on many occasions, seen stories on traditional news media outlets that are directly sourced from Reddit, with the comments on Reddit being more insightful than the comments on the newspaper’s website.

Reddit is able to do all this because of the strict rules against censorship and free speech. Reddit is also the slimy underbelly of the internet because of its strict rules against censorship and free speech. You will get the best and worst of people on Reddit, but the best makes slogging through the worst absolutely worth it. Aside from the front page which is good for memes and the biggest news items from around the world, I also subscribe to and frequent:

r/ELI5- ELI5 stands for Explain Like I’m Five. Five year olds often ask really good questions, with answers that are at times more complicated then they’re able to understand. When they ask those kinds of questions, it’s best to respond with simple metaphors that allow them to understand the basics, while still leaving room for more questions as they grow. ELI5 is the subreddit where adults can ask good questions and get those metaphors too. It’s my starting point for concepts that I can’t even begin to grasp, like the physical nature of the universe, or the conflict in the Middle East. Start with this post: The 5 Year Old’s Guide to the Galaxy.

r/WorldNews- is for major news from around the world except US-internal news / US politics. I probably seem a little anti-American at this point, but I’m not. My issue with new media’s American bias is that the U.S. is but one country in the world, and I don’t even live there. Despite being just one country, the interests and values of the United States has become a dominant cultural narrative on a global scale while it’s dominance as a global superpower has been shaking for a while, and will continue to become shakier. It’s easy to take for granted that a lot of the things principles and ideologies we currently value in the Western world are actually very American values, as opposed to things that are universally true. So I make a deliberate effort to maintain a wide perspective on things by engaging with as much news as possibly from outside the U.S. I’m Canadian, I’ll hear about it eventually anyway.

Aimed at: People who will put up to poor web design in order to be on the bleeding edge of everything.

See also: r/TLDR for when you care about today’s news, but don’t have time to read all of the internet.

CBC News

CBC news logo

I don’t keep up with CBC news as a whole, just CBC radio, and the podcasts of my favourite CBC news and special interest shows. It’s good Canadian news, but where CBC really shines is in the people who lead their programs. I’m not sure how they manage this, but nearly all the hosts of the following programs are more or less amazing, and where the host fails, the topic speaks for itself. Gomeshi is iffy at times, like when he asked Whitney Houston’s mom how she “felt” about her daughter’s death, as though that’s an insightful thing to ask about bereavement. My favourite is Anna Maria Tremonti, host of The Current. She asks good questions and skillfully moderates debates between guests from wildly opposing viewpoints. When she chimes in, it’s often with a really salient point from a perspective I hadn’t considered.

Some of these shows I’ve been listening to for a decade, others I only recently tuned in to, but I stand behind every recommendation because I really do listen to every one of these shows. This is what I have in place of Jersey Shore. I put in CBC’s synopsis of each one, since there’s no need for me to reinvent the wheel.

The Current- As I said, Anna Maria Tremonti is my favourite CBC radio host. I don’t know how much influence Tremonti has in choosing guests for the debates on each episode, but I am consistently impressed at how level-headed her guests are in arguing their sides, and how well she is able to report the interests of both parties. Guests are always respectful towards one another, and back up their claims with solid evidence.  It is always very quickly called out when claims aren’t backed up, or are misrepresented.  This shows that when The Current chooses experts in their fields, they really are choosing experts, and you can join the debate on your own time with a pretty good overview of the issue at hand. The episodes are relatively short, rarely more than 28 minutes each (including advertising time) so it’s a nice companion during my commutes.

As It Happens- From the site: “Listening to As It Happens is like taking a trip around the world five nights a week. For more than 35 years, using the simplest of tools – the telephone – this current affairs program has explored the heart of a story, whether it’s happening in the streets of Belgrade, the dockyards of Vancouver, the boardrooms of Bay Street, or the kitchens of Paris.” Growing up, my family would listen to As It Happens together every single week. I don’t listen to it as regularly any more, but for years it was the backbone of my knowledge of the world across oceans and it’s a great point to start with if you’re just getting into international affairs.

Vinyl Cafe-  From the site: “The Vinyl Cafe stories are about Dave, owner of the second hand record store, and they are collected in books and on CD. The stories also feature Dave’s wife, Morley, their two children, Sam and Stephanie, and assorted friends and neighbours. The motto of Dave’s store – and of the radio show – is “We May Not Be Big, But We’re Small”. Not a news show, but it does keep me informed about the lighter side of life, and what it means to be “Canadian”- very helpful as an immigrant. Often cheesy, but always heartwarming and hilarious, Vinyl Cafe has been a staple of my media consumption since I was 11, and each episode is just as relevant to me now as it was a decade ago.

Q with Jhian Gomeshi- From the site: “Q is an energetic daily arts, culture and entertainment magazine that takes you on a smart and surprising ride, interviewing personalities and tackling the cultural issues that matter. Hosted by Jian Ghomeshi, with his trademark wit and spontaneity, Q covers pop culture and high arts alike with forays into the most provocative and compelling cultural trends.” I already gave you my views on Gomeshi. He doesn’t always ask good questions of his guests, but a lot of the content speaks for itself, regardless of occasionally inane interviewing.

 Metro Morning News, Toronto Edition- From the site:  “Metro Morning is the audio version of Toronto’s Yonge Street: a central urban artery that cuts through the heart of the city and beyond; connecting people, neighbourhoods, communities, diverse pockets and populations. The program expresses the realities of life and experience in Canada’s largest city through a weave of news, current affairs and the information you need to start your day, including consistent and predictable weather and traffic.” This is a new addition to my rotation, but so far, so good. It’s a lot like everything else CBC does- solid, and solidly Canadian.

So those are the 7 news outlets I turn to on the regular, with a few other recommendations peppered in. I hope you find something useful in it. I hope you visit all of them, at your own pace of course. I hope you like some, and hate others, and develop favourites on your own that never appeared on this list. I hope you come back sometime in the future, be it a few days or a few years, and leave a comment on this post about your favourite news sources and why you like them so much. Then we’ll all sit around with our thick-framed glasses and craft beer, and be the well-informed petty bourgeois that we are, and make fun of ourselves while discussing the world.

Much love,

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Adventure of the Week: No More Adventures

This title is misleading. It’s not that I will no longer be having adventures, but that I’m retiring the Adventure of the Week column. It was fun for a while, but I’ve found that all my best adventures were completely unplanned. And when they were planned, they were huge adventures, like going to London, England back in March or going to Montreal earlier this April.

The spirit of Adventure of the Week was to inspire us to live outside our comfort zone through weekly challenges. I started it during time in my life when everything was stagnant, and I’ve done it for so long that pushing my personal limits has become automatic. It no longer feels authentic to put so much effort into it.

Further, my big adventures are not the kinds of things that I can say (with a straight face) that we should all do. This isn’t one of those publications with an editorial voice that assumes you’re constantly jet setting everywhere. A.Y. Daring (.com) is for the people who are jet setters at heart, and concerned with seeing and understanding the world, even if you’re not immediately able to drop everything to go party in Ibiza.

Perhaps I’ll reincarnate AotW sometime in the future, with a different tone or a different focus. For now though, I hope ya’ll enjoyed it as it was, sporadic and well-intentioned.

So long, farewell, to you and you and you,

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What I Learned This Week: February 22, 2013

Clicky-click each thing I learned to get back to my original source!

#1: How Slut Shaming Becomes Victim Blaming

This video might be really difficult for you to watch. The reason I am sharing it is for this line: “You might be the perfect woman, and still get raped. You might be engaging in a lot of risky behaviours, and never get raped….The only constant is the person who makes the bad decision to hurt someone else.

#2:GMOs aren’t a bad idea, but you should still be asking a lot of questions.

Human beings have actually been genetically modifying organisms for centuries- selective seed harvesting to get the juiciest apples, or breeding for particular physical or personality traits in dogs are just two simple examples. GMOs in the lab are just accelerating that process. The controversy surrounding GMOs in regards to food supply and crops is not cut and dry. In fact, there are actually a lot of really cool and interesting potential uses for GMOs that even “nature is always best” claimants would find difficult to argue with. For example: What if we could engineer a type of rice that would have a day’s worth of nutrients for a growing child in just one serving? Think of the potential uses for that in nations where poverty is rampant and rice is a staple grain.

On the concerned citizens side of things though: Biodiversity in food crops is critically important. We have in the past, lost an entire specie of bananas (the Gros Michael) to mono-cropping, after a fungal disease (called Panama wilt) evolved that saw them as an efficient food source, since it was the only kind of banana that grew for miles around. This is actually a risk regardless of whether or not we ditch all foods except for ones that have been engineered to grow their own pesticides though, so do your research!

#3: Gay oppression will never be the new black oppression, and contemporary gay culture privileges the white narrative.

#4: Beyonce makes me so proud to spell my name: w-o-m-a-n

Beyonce, from “Life is But a Dream”: I used to be afraid of people thinking I was difficult or too critical, and you know, I don’t really care about that any more.

Girl, preach!

#5: The Internet is different if you’re rich.

“As Eli Pariser has observed, the Internet shows us ‘what it thinks we want to see’ by serving up content that matches the hidden profiles created about us based on our daily online interactions. This behind-the-scenes curation reinforces our political points of view through online ‘echo chambers’ that affirm, instead of challenge, what we already believe to be true.”

This article doesn’t really get interesting until you go down to the comment section. There’s more insight there than in the article itself.

#6: Max and Ruby is a tragic story of single motherhood masquerading as children’s television.

#7: I do not read enough queer literature.

I’ve been following Lover’s In Transition on twitter for a while now, (@LoversInTransit) and, of course, reading their blog. LiT is written by a couple, one of whom is a cisgender woman named Tashia, the other is a trans* man named Riley. The just published a list of books published last year featuring prominent queer characters of colour, or written by queer people of colour. It’s kind of amazing. I have so much reading to do. I always have so much reading to do.

#8: #Ineedasculismbecause is still a funny hashtag.

This is one of my favourites:

 

 

#9: Elizabeth Cochrane is one of the greatest female journalist of all time.

“But was pioneering journalism, social revolution and batshit badassery enough for our Liz? Like fuck it was. On a whim Nellie did what any self-respecting 25 year old woman in the 1800s would do – she emulated Jules Verne’s Around the World in Eighty Days, and did it in 72.” The things this woman managed to do, in the 1800′s is mind blowing. Seriously. Read all about her.

Well, I learned more than 9 things this week, but these were the things of note.

And with that, I’m off to do my weekend. You stay gold now, ya’ hear?
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An Open Letter On Eating Well

Source: Uploaded by user via Vania on Pinterest

Diet is a funny word. It usually connotes the struggle of weight loss. It’s second meaning seems to have been lost to the ether of mass insecurities. “The patterns that arise when you look at everything you eat on a daily basis,” is how I like to think of the word diet. Maybe it’s because I was a vegetarian for nearly 5 years, but I think that four letter word can talk about so much more than just wanting to be skinny.

One of my best friends wrote a letter to her mother, who is also considering the different definitions of the word “diet” and which one she wants to embrace. The letter is the most poignant things I’ve ever read about food and health, partly because of the content, and partly because of its intention. It was written to discuss diets in a loving, empowering and uplifting way. Sad to say, it’s been a painfully long time since I’ve had a diet conversation like this one.

My friend believes that food is not a hindrance; it’s a source of joy, and we need to stop hating ourselves for wanting it. Her exposition on moving towards “diet” as a series of deliberate and intentional choices we make about our bodies, is near flawless. It’s also got that mix I love, of being equal part practical ideas and talk of the fundamental issues.

It is a completely original work, written from daughter to mother out of love, but I think the world needs to hear it’s message and she’s allowed me to share it. I’ve edited it a tiny bit for formatting and privacy, but otherwise, it is exactly as it was originally written in all it’s rawness and truth and honesty. Enjoy.

Hello Mom,

Some tips for you- but first to insert your favourite quote:
“Change the way you think and you will change your world.”

TIP #0: ( ha!)

Losing weight has to be fun/and or feel good. If it’s not, you’re doing something wrong!

 

TIP #1: Introducing the TRIANGLE

I read in a book of which I only read 3 pages (just to warn you) that the reason we gain weight is because our blood sugar levels spike, and that signals our body to store calories as fat rather than burn them. If you want to lose weight, you have to keep your blood sugar steady, so don’t let it get too high. It gets high if you don’t eat for a long time, and then BAM!
You are adding, not taking away. Think of your 3 meals per day as creating 3 points of a triangle of strength. You can’t rely on willpower alone if it isn’t in solidarity with a solid structure. Try eating 3 square meals a day and see what happens.

 

This means that you have to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

 

I notice that I get hungry every three hours. Think of honouring your hunger, it’s there for a reason. Is it close to lunch time or dinner time? You are strengthening your three pillars!

 

But what do I do about breakfast, you may ask?
You could try making a list of your ideal breakfast foods. If you could have anything in the world for breakfast, what would it be?
You could wake up 15 minutes earlier so that you have time to eat?

 

TIP # 2: DEFINING the “SQUARE”

I would say for me, a square meal is:
  • hot because it’s currently winter and I like eating warm food
  • takes time to prepare and time to eat and feels luxurious because of that
  •  makes me feel good and makes my cheeks warm ( I notice garlic will do this)
  • is something I crave that isn’t sweet
TRY to think of meals you’ve had that make you happy!
1. What was special about those meals?
2. What dishes were they?
3. define your square meal

TIP # 3: AVOIDING INSANITY

A.Y. [ed. note: that's me!] once said, “insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. I think she was quoting someone else though. [ed. note: I was. Einstein.] Anyway, I mean to use this quote to say, if something isn’t working, STOP doing it and try something new. Or first, RECOGNIZE what it is that you are doing. The way you think about food isn’t improving your ability to lose weight, so think about it another way.
I believe food is not a hindrance getting in the way of how we want to look, it is a source of pleasure in our lives! Allow food to be a source of pleasure and only that! Don’t hate it! And don’t hate yourself for wanting it!!

TIP #4: Think from BIG to small

Don’t try to eliminate all sugars from your diet at once, it NEVER WORKS! Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to enjoy what you like. If your three triangle points are there [see tip #1], you’ll start to notice that your cravings are much more manageable, and you don’t want to eat breads and sugars all the time. AND GIVE YOURSELF CHOICE. Try saying: I can have this if I want. And notice that even though you can have it, you don’t need it, and you don’t want it.

TIP #5 INTENTION VS. ACTION

Sometimes trying something new can feel like a waste of time, but just remember, you’re already wasting your time!
Sometimes just thinking about something can be cathartic. Thinking that you’re going to lose weight is cathartic. And it can seem scary to let go of that thought. But trust that your intention is there and OBSERVE how much you eat when you feel like you “can’t have something” and how much of that same thing you eat when you CAN. Is there a difference? Is one more or less? Try saying to yourself “I can have that”. Give yourself choice.
It doesn’t mean you aren’t going to have it, but chances are more likely that you won’t, but you’ll be far less disappointed if you do! Give yourself little goals that you can accomplish. In fact, the very first goals should be goals that you KNOW you can accomplish. For example: I will do 5 sit ups once a week, not, “starting tomorrow I’m going to do 5,000,000 sit ups everyday”. Short term, 5 sit ups may seem like nothing at all, but long term, you’ll probably have done more sit ups. And you’ll probably WANT and CRAVE to do more sit ups. And once you have that healthy relationship of WANT (not must), you can increase the number. But a healthy relationship is like glue for any goal that you have. You need it for things to stick. You have to work WITH yourself, not against!
And finally….a parting tip: Replace your midnight snack with breakfast.
If anything, eat something you know you would love to eat at midnight for breakfast. Eat it and enjoy it, because you’re eating it at the best time in the morning, and you don’t have to feel guilty!
Please print and read constantly!
You could get a journal and keep a food diary, only about food that you LOVE.

Love,

[My friend's name]
Your food therapist.
You see- brilliant, right? I especially love the parting idea of keeping a food diary for just the things you’ve eaten and truly enjoyed. I think so often we focus on the things we don’t like, the foods we dislike, the body parts we dislike, that we become practised in ignoring the good. And then, confirmation bias sets in. You start looking for things to affirm your hatred, not realising that there are probably just as many things that affirm what you do like. Then it starts to look like the world is against you, when in actual fact, you’re working against it with just as much fervour.
Food is not the enemy.
You are not your enemy.
What would happen if you stopped focusing on what the scale says, and instead on what your body’s telling you?
Gosh, I have the most brilliant and inspiring friends in the world. Feel free to share this letter with everyone it could benefit.
Namaste,
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Adventure of the Week: Fruits and Veggies Edition

Source: pin4fun6006.blogspot.com via Maddison on Pinterest

 

I am allergic to a lot of things.

I have “unusually severe” (doctor’s words, not mine) oral allergy syndrome. I’m more or less allergic to all produce that’s native to North America.

That is possibly a slight exaggeration.

I’m actually only allergic to birchwood, ragweed and grass pollen. The reason I have so many food allergies is because a lot of produce grown in Canada comes from the birchwood, ragweed and grass families, or they get covered in the pollen from growing outside, as produce is wont to do. I subsist on a diet of mostly meat, dairy and carbohydrates. I eat like a cranky 4 year old, except I’m 21 so it’s sad and unhealthy. The task of modifying my diet feels gargantuan and I’ve been dragging my feet about it since the day I moved out of my parent’s home. So,

This week, I’m challenging myself to have two servings of fruits or vegetables with every meal.

I don’t like to be told what to do unless there’s some very good reasoning behind the instruction. I’m not just going to start (or stop for that matter) doing something unless I know what research has been done to support the claim. And it has to be good research. So my first question in all this was,

What exactly is one serving of a fruit or vegetable, and why is it that particular amount?

From what I can tell from the research I’ve done, a serving of produce is either 80g, or a fist-sized fruit, whichever comes first. The source of why servings are what they are seems to be the World Health Organisation, from many different studies published before I was born, that are difficult to find on the internet. The food guides published by most world governments reference WHO research at one point or another, particularly the CINDI recommendation:

WHO [World Health Organisation] recommends an intake of at least 400 g vegetables (in addition to potatoes) and fruits perday. …Epidemiological studies published during the 1980s and 1990s confirm that the prevalence of cardiovascular diseases, certain cancers and most micronutrient deficiencies is lower where vegetable and fruit intake is at this level or higher. -World Health Organisation, Regional Committee for Europe, Countrywide Integrated Noncommunicable Disease Intervention (CINDI) Dietary Guide

I’ve linked to the document so you can read it yourself. (It’ll open as a PDF.)

The resulting serving size recommendations that came out of that were based on about how much of something a person would typically eat, the nutritional content of that serving, and yes, how much of it you’d need to get to your 400g/day minimum. That works out to be about 80g, or something that fits comfortable in the palm of an adult hand.

For example, the Canadian Food Guide recommends that a 35 year old woman should eat, in one day:

  • 7-8 servings of vegetables and fruit
  • 6-7 servings of grain products
  • 2 servings of milk and alternatives
  • 2 servings of meat and alternatives
  • 30 – 45 mL (2 to 3 Tbsp) of unsaturated oils and fats

Now, here’s the problem: it seems like eating more fruits and vegetables than any other food group doesn’t actually do much for your chances of getting cancer. If you strive to eat a nutrient-rich diet, it certainly doesn’t increase your chances of getting cancer (I think…), but cancer prevention is more complex than just having an apple every day. The claims about those micronutrient deficiencies and cardiovascular illnesses that CINDI warns against still stand, too.

The thing is, I think eating well is about more than just trying to live forever, or avoiding getting sick. Food is also about flavour, and texture, and colour, and aroma. I’m missing out on all those things when breakfast is just bacon and eggs with toast.

Source: allposters.de via Iss dich schlank – bleib schlank on Pinterest

What makes this challenge, well, challenging?

I’m allergic to many things that simply taste better when eaten fresh and raw. I spent most of today hungry because I simple couldn’t decide what to cook. Eating usually means cooking for yours truly. I do not snack on fresh produce. To give you an idea of what I’m up against, here’s a list of some of the foods that cross-react with my pollen allergies:

  • melons
  • berries
  • bananas
  • citrus fruits
  • grapes (and raisins)
  • apricots
  • plums
  • pears
  • prunes
  • bell peppers
  • pineapples
  • apples
  • celery
  • avocados
  • cherries
  • kiwis
  • peaches

And the list goes on and on. Some things I react to more than others. Apples make it difficult to breathe, while I can eat a stick of celery and I’ll only have an annoying itch in my mouth for 20 minutes. Luckily, the proteins that cause my allergy break down when heated. But how many recipes do you know for cooking fruits that don’t add so much sugar it negates the health benefits? And let’s be honest, there is a real joy in the satisfying crunch of a fresh carrot that steamed carrots just don’t give.

Nevertheless, I have made a commitment, and I plan to stick to it and make it delicious! I’ve got quite the Epicurean week ahead of me, don’t I?

Wish me luck,

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Adventure Of The Week: Bread Edition

I have a lot to say. I’m in one of those moods. I need to collect my thoughts and say them tomorrow, because I’ve been trying to say them today, and they’ve been getting jumbled and now I’m frustrated. What’s set me off is this:

IMG_0013This is the bread I made. And it was delicious. And it was the first time I’ve ever made bread all by myself. And it has not got me thinking and re-thinking the way I eat, from the bottom up. Since I made this bread, I have made yet another loaf and two different kinds of sourdough starter, and committed to never again buying bread from a grocery store.

I don’t talk about it on this blog because I don’t have the photography skills to run a food blog, but I am passionate about making food from scratch. Partly because I am poor and it’s sometimes a matter of necessity. It is also partly because I’m narcissistic and like the food I make over that of most others. But mostly, it is because when given the choice between being connected to the story of the food I am eating and being handed a paper bag of processed food with a big corporate logo and a fake smile, I choose to know what I’m putting into my body.

So, I’ve been cooking and baking and thinking and it distracted me from last week’s adventure. I will take some time to think some more, cook some more and eat some more, and then I’ll get back to you.

Happy Monday,

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Respecting a Person’s Right To Self-Determine

“People can’t really be put into boxes,” she says. “We need to get away from just category, and we have to allow people who were in one to move into the next category, [to] respect their right to self-determine.”

-Janet Mock

Trans* activist, Janet Mock

Trans* activist, Janet Mock

I am busy with my adventure of the week, but need to share this article, called “My Womanhood Is Valid,” with you. It resonated with me on the level of recognizing why I feel uncomfortable in certain moments. The majority of the moments where I’ve felt unsafe have been the moments where I did not feel able to determine who I wanted to be, or did not feel able to be who I am. I’m not trans* but I have a lot of trans* role models, as I often hear from them the language of assertiveness, and an outward expression of one’s true self.

I hope this article resonates with you as well.

Happy Thursday,

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